


Mothballz

by MonocerosRex



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack, I did Research for This, I don't know how to write crack, Jealous Lance (Voltron), M/M, No Proofreading We Die Like Men, Now I know the genus of several moth species and the geographical conditions of West Virginia, the devil made me do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 22:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9518552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonocerosRex/pseuds/MonocerosRex
Summary: Keith, Lance and the gang stop over on an alien planet. Keith is very interested in the local aliens. Lance is less so.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hpd_lance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hpd_lance/gifts), [Fuck you.](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Fuck+you.).



> I was dared to write this. It took me an hour. I hate myself.  
> That is all.

“Okay,” said Allura. “I expect you all to stay out of trouble while Coran and I collect the necessary provisions from Trysia. The Trysians are a peaceful race, but they are risking much by allowing us to stop here--the Galra have many spies.”  
“But as long as you don’t cause any mass extinctions or civil wars--”  
Pidge was suddenly overcome with a fit of coughs that sounded suspiciously like Lance’s name “--you’re free to enjoy yourselves. We’ll be here for the whole day at least.” Shiro told the group before following Allura into the pod hangar.  
“Oh boy,” Hunk said. “I can’t wait to check out that giant market Allura mentioned. Maybe I can find something nice to give to Shay.”  
“I _was_ going to go with you to see what tech they’re selling, but if you’re justing going to be gross the whole time I’ll go it alone.” Pidge said in disgust.  
“Aw, Pidge, you can hang out with me! I want to see the wildlife on the planet here, see if I can find something adorable to cuddle. Like and alien puppy. I miss puppies.” Said Lance, his feigned hurt bleeding into excitement in his usual over-dramatic manner.  
“No _thank_ you. You’re unpleasant enough around Allura’s mice, and they’re like a 4 on the cute scale.” Pidge replied. “Wanna come look at tech with me, Keith?”  
“Wait, you’d rather hang out with _Keith_ than me?!”  
“Infinitely.” Lance clutched his chest as she smirked, a twin to Lot’s wife as usual.  
“If you want to go so badly then why don’t you all _hurry up_.” Said Keith grumpily, marching off to the pods, exasperated with their antics. 

The glide down to the planet was gentle and short, the six of them landing just outside a small settlement of colourful tents that seemed to be woven from silk. Behind them stretched a forest of tall, dark trees, which seemed to cover most of the surface of this mountainous planet.  
“Remember what I said about trouble.” Allura warned again. “Voltron is above all a diplomatic body, and I can’t have my paladins weakening the alliance because they can’t behave themselves for a day. Shiro and I will be meeting with the chief of this area in the hopes he will take us to the kalendrite mines deep in the forest and allow us to collect some. While we are gone I suggest you all do some exploring. The town is extremely beautiful and the people are very… welcoming. You can contact us through your communicators should you need us.” With that she turned to Shiro and led him towards a large, almost palatial tent near the outskirts of the village.  
Chattering excitedly the younger paladins heading into the town proper, Keith trailing behind with disinterest. 

It was indeed beautiful there. Every tent was the size of a small house, the walls a shimmering kaleidoscope of rich colours and intricate patterns.  
Hunk immediately ducked inside one, his voice drifting through the walls as he inquired after the usefulness of the amazing textile for clothing. Pidge quickly caught sight of a sign written in the local language that clearly had some meaning to her because she rushed into the tent with that special gleam in her eye only science could inspire. 

Keith and Lance wandered alone together down the deserted street, not bothering to make conversation as they looked around. Pretty soon it became clear if they wanted to find anything they’d have to enter one of the tents. Coming to a halt Lance lifted the flap of the nearest shop, peering through the darkness at it’s occupants.  
“Oh hey, I think this one might be a cafe.” Lance said, motioning Keith closer.  
With a sigh Keith came forward and looked inside.  
And gaped.  
“L-lance!”  
“What?” Lance looked around at his friend, frowning in confusion as his shocked face. “Are you okay? You look kind of pale--nevermind. Now you look kind of _incredibly_ red. You feeling alright, buddy?”  
“ _Lance_.” Keith squeaked again, one hand shooting out to latch onto Lance’s arm painfully. “They--they’re--”  
“What?” Lance said again. The aliens were a little freaky, to be sure, but they’d seen _way_ weirder creatures during their time in space and most of them had turned out to be really cool. These particular aliens were tall--6, 6 ½ feet seemed to be the average--and well muscled. They were mostly humanoid except for their large, powdery wings and compound eyes. It was difficult to see them well, as the interior of the tent was surprisingly dark. Lance was marvelling at the ability of the delicate cloth to block the strong sunlight so well when a voice called to them from the gloom.  
“Come inside already, you’re letting the dark out.” The voice was deep and breathy, as if constantly on the verge of a whisper. Lance shrugged and did as he was told, dragging Keith in with him. He still hadn’t released his death grip on his arm, but Lance considered this an acceptable tradeoff for peace and quiet.  
As they moved further inside their eyes began to adjust. Several of the creatures we hanging from the high ceiling, smoking what looked like hookahs. The rest were sat around small tables, nibbling on leaves and sipping at large globs of greenish liquid.  
“What’s up?” Said Lance.  
“Hello, paladins of Voltron.” Said the person who had spoken earlier. “Welcome to our planet. It really is a _pleasure_ to have you here.” As he spoke he stepped forward into the light--or at least, out of a slightly darker patch of shadows.  
He was a dull shade of mauve all over, with dark grey markings swirling across the underside of his wings and across his chest, highlighting his impressive psychic. Lance thought this alien might have better abs than Shiro, and boy was that saying something.  
“My name is Macezzadac.” He said, holding out a hand to Lance.  
“Lance.” He replied, shaking firmly despite the way it coated his skin in fine dust. “And this is Keith.”  
The alien turned to the red paladin and once again held out his hand. Lance felt a shudder run through Keith, and could have sworn he heard him whimper. But that couldn’t be right… Keith wasn’t afraid of anything.  
But even in the dim light Lance could see Keith’s free hand was shaking as he raised it to clasp the alien’s.  
“Nice to meet you.” Said Macezzadac.  
There was a beat of silence, almost unnoticeable, before Keith replied.  
“Pleasebemyboyfriend!” He blurted, causing a wave of rustling wings to pass through the room.  
Lance froze.  
Macezzadac took this outburst in stride, a sultry smile spreading across his mouth. “Well, maybe. Why don’t we get to know eachother a bit better first?” He indicated a sort of couch behind him that was unoccupied and Keith whimpered again, finally unwinding his fingers from Lance’s bicep.  
Lance was still frozen.  
The pair settled down in the dark, Keith’s blush bright enough to banish the shadows from their booth. Lance couldn’t really hear what they were saying, but Macezzadac seemed to be doing most of the talking--Keith mostly just stared and occasionally squeaked a response.  
Lance was still frozen.  
The entire situation did not compute. In an effort to comprehend what had just happened Lance tried to break down the events in his mind.  
Alien planet--okay, check. Some people might find that mind blowing but that was as mundane as brushing his teeth for him now.  
Alien race--standard stuff, a package deal with the alien world.  
Keith freaking out about said aliens--not standard. Lance hadn’t been aware he was even capable of strong emotions beyond “angry”, “sad”, and “hate Lance”. But maybe this triggered Keith in some way, Lance didn’t pretend to know what went on in the red paladin’s mind.  
Alien race being flirty--fine. Lance usually preferred it when they were flirty with _him_ , but whatever. Maybe they thought Keith looked more like a bug, that was fine with Lance. Beauty standards aren’t universal, he got that.  
Keith asking the bug alien to be his boyfriend--error.  
Keith asking the bug alien to be his boyfriend--error.  
Keith asking the bug alien to be his boyfriend--error 404 does not compute please check with your service provider for more details.  
“Are you okay? Would you like to sit down?” A breathy voice murmured in his ear. Lance finally moved, glancing up at the alien that had approached him. They looked very similar to the one sitting with Keith, if maybe a little slimmer.  
They smiled and set their hand on Lance’s shoulder, purring “You can come sit with me, since your friend is busy.” At this Lance glanced towards Keith’s booth and finally shook off his paralysis.  
Rudely ignoring the other alien Lance marched over to where Keith sat in Macezzadac’s lap, his tongue down his throat. Grabbing him by the arm Lance dragged him up and stalked out of the tent, Keith stumbling to keep up.  
Once they were outside Lance turned to Keith, hissing “What the _hell_ are you doing?” Lance didn’t really understand why he was angry, but he had bigger things to focus on.  
“Lance! Why did you bring me out here?!” Keith sounded angry too. “Don’t you know I--that was _Mothman_ , Lance! _Mothman!_ ”  
“What the fuck are you talking about?”  
“I--Mothman, Lance!”  
“Yeah, I know, you keep saying that, but _what the fuck are you on about?_ ”  
“Mothman! He’s like--a cryptid, the monster of Point Pleasant.”  
“Okay, I know you’re into conspiracy theories. They look like some mythical animal, that’s fine. What I’m wondering is _why did you ask him to be your boyfriend?_ ”  
Keith blushed up to his ears, but he was fully invested in the argument. “Didn’t you _see_ him?!”  
“YES. WHICH IS WHY I’M ASKING.”  
“I’ve had a crush on Mothman since I was a caterpillar! Didn’t you see his _abs?_ ”  
“ _He’s a horrifying butterfly monster!_ ”  
Looking like it was taking all his will not to punch Lance in the dick Keith covered his ears like a child. “I can’t hear you. I’m going back inside.”  
“Dude, it might not be _safe_ , and even if it is you shouldn’t be in there just because of some insane childhood crush! Since when are you even _into_ aliens? Since when are you even into _guys?_ ”  
Lance’s voice rose steadily to be heard over Keith chanting “half man, half moth, all mine” over and over again.  
Finally reaching his breaking point Lance grabbed Keith by the wrists, ripping his hands away from his ears and reeling him in close so he could stare down into his face. His eyes were wild, his mouth bitten red, and the remnants of a blush still lingered in his cheeks.  
He looked gorgeous.  
“Keith. Don’t go back in there.”  
Keith glared. “You’re just _jealous._ ” He snarled, just trying to get a rise out of Lance.  
It worked. Just not in the way he had anticipated.  
“Maybe I am,” Lance declared, tugging on Keith’s wrists hard enough to make him stumble against his front. Keith’s eyes widened, shock and anger flashing across his face.  
“ _What?_ You like-- How dare you drag me out of there just because you-- Since when do you-- _Mothman would never do this to m--_ ”  
Keith’s rant was swiftly cut off but Lance’s mouth. He’d never have thought the word ‘mothman’ could have inspired such suicidal rage in him--and it was suicidal, because any second now Keith was going to kill him.  
But for now he was frozen in shock. Lance took the opportunity to bury his fingers in his hair and his tongue in his mouth, biting at those lips hard enough to erase the memory of Macezzadac’s feelers. A shudder ran through Keith and his hands came up to fist in Lance’s shirt.  
Lance braced himself for a throw only to feel himself being tugged closer, Keith pushing up on his toes to kiss him back with as much fervour and passion as he had Mothman.  
It was an angry kiss, full of biting and hair pulling, but it was the best kiss Lance had ever had. He was sure Keith was still angry at him, but this was the best possible manner of working things out Lance could conceive of.  
He didn’t know how long they stood there devouring each other, but eventually someone came to look for them.  
“Keith? Are you out here-- Oh.” Macezzadac’s quiet rumble penetrated the fog of lust around the teenagers, as effective as a cold shower in Lance’s case. “I’m so sorry,” the alien continued, “I had no idea you two were involved. If you want to come back inside I’ll make sure to share Keith this time.” A chorus of agreement sounded behind him, calls to join them echoing through the shadows. +  
Keith’s eyes lit up for a moment, but he wilted when he caught sight of Lance’s expression.  
“Um, maybe another time, Mothm--uh, Macezzadac.” Keith said awkwardly. The still air was filled with the disappointed rustling of wings.  
“Are you sure?” Macezzadac asked, shoulders slumping at Keith’s nod. He let the tent flap fall, leaving the two of them alone again.  
Keith signed, but looked up when Lance took his hand.  
“You know, if you need a boyfriend that badly, I could do it.” He offered, trying to sound casual. Keith snorted and looked away, but his fingers tightened around Lance’s.  
“I could live with that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Look what you've done, [TJ_Idk](). Look what you've done.


End file.
